Curse of Zheng Shuang

Bonjour! This drama is pretty terrible right now… Mostly because the OTP action right now is nearly non-existent. I don’t root for Ling Lang and Kangxi at all, and I don’t even feel much for her character. Sigh I wish we had cooler female lead that wasn’t always somewhat dying/fainting all the time that could fend for herself. Where are our strong leads like San Cai (from Taiwanese Meteor Garden) or Xue Wu (from Lan Ling Wang). She seems so useless. I mean, I can’t help but agree with what all the other concubines are saying. They try to make these concubines seem evil or something but I really do agree with them: this girl is so useless and all she knows how to do is to utilize the guys around her to protect her and solve her problems. It’s kind of really annoying.

Anyways I was just replying to comments yesterday and I realize everyone here who’s following the drama is feeling the same way.

I feel like a group of mean girls just continuously shitting on Zheng Shuang. I can’t help it. Her acting sucks.

Anyways these next few episodes is just all about how Kang Xi is trying to force his love onto Ling Lang, and Ling Lang giving that stupid wronged/sad look. If you actually stopped reading here, that’s pretty much it, and you wouldn’t have missed out on much if you just skipped to the next recap.

**WARNING, PROFANITY HEAVY**

So the Emperor, seemingly having nothing to do, always goes to find Ling Lang to see what she’s doing. And for some reason, even though she’s a fucking servant, she seems to also have nothing to do. Case in point ^ like how she has spare time just making poems and shit. And look at Kang Xi. This is such a terrible representation of our dear beloved Emperor. The real Kang Xi woke up at 5:30am every day to govern the country. Hawick’s Kang Xi only knows to spend his time with his servant. In comparison, even I look more hard worker than they are… Like a full time job where I need to… you know, do shit.

Kang Xi does little things to make Ling Lang happy, like make her favourite type of dim sum and for her to try to remember the past. And why do I even get annoyed with her eating? Like her face/mouth does not move at all, and even when eating, her mouth move so minimally that she takes these wussy bites that barely make a dent in the dim sum. Ok I know she’s supposed to be all mannerly and stuff and I’m just nit picking but…still.

Our mo liu 無聊Emperor has the time to teach our dear Ling Lang to throw rocks. Yes. Throw rocks against a tree. Even Rong Ruo has a bewildered look, even though it’s more from his love of his life being ‘too close’ to the Emperor.

Kangxi gets uninvitedly close to Ling Lang to teach her how to throw. I mean… it’s ok for us because it’s Hawick, but keep in mind it’s only ok because Hawick is good looking and young.

Anyways.Ling Lang mentions briefly that it reminded her of her brother and that they used to play with flying sharp stars in their own quarters.

We jump scene to what appears to be our Emperor finally at work at governing his country.

…well, shit.

He’s still trying to figure out which flying star that Ling Lang used to play with to trigger her memory. I mean I get it, it’s a drama, but this Emperor really does not do anything work lor.

Ok just random screencap of Mi Xue (aka royal grandma) because she is #goals. She is just so damn elegant and beautiful in the way that she carries herself. She’s probably the only saving grace in this drama.

Anyways the Emperor goes as far as creating a expedition outside the royal palace to recreate the same way that him and Ling Lang met 8 years ago. Yes. What a waste of royal palace staff member time.

ROYAL PALACE STAFF: SERIOUSLY. I have 4 loads of laundry to wash, by HAND no less, and you’re pulling my staff to do stuff like this? You should be glad I have only 3 years til retirement… #$%@& kids. 

Kangxi tells Ling Lang to run while he pretends to fight ten guys.

And Ling Lang/Zheng Shuang actually looks so pretty for once that she’s not in a feudal hairstyle. I think she can’t really pull off the feudal look and looks a lot better in modern times.

Oh, and obviously Chang Xing sees them coincidentally on their outing and decides to follow to try to murder the Emperor like this. Honestly it’s like Wile E Coyote and the Roadrunner. All these opportunities are kinda ridiculous but the attempts are even more pathetic.

While Kang Xi and Ling Lang are hiding in the cave, Chang Xing tries to blow out the entrance of the cave, in order to try to kill the Emperor.

He strikes a sassy pose in response to the explosion. Which is really weird. Why wouldn’t you run or take cover? Anyways, drama.

They’re rescued by Rong Ruo, who also came on this outing, and Ling Lang ends up remember half of her memories. She did meet the Emperor 8 years ago. Yay. Woo. Ok. Exciting. Kinda. Not.

Seeing that his plans have failed, Chang Xing tries to kill the Emperor by sword (great idea genius, if only you did that a few episodes back) but he fails.

Anyways, Rong Ruo begs Consort Hui to get Ling LAng out of the royal palace because she’s slowly remember everything, and Consort Hui agrees.

Consort Hui directs Ling Lang to go back to washing dirty clothes, because that’ll be easier to sneak her out of the royal palace. Ling Langs begs for the Emperor to let her go back to washing dishes.

ROYAL PALACE HR: Fuck this bitch. 

WELL, the Emperor still cares about Ling Lang but she returns to washing dishes, even though he spies on her all the time.

For some reason this drama loves to beat up this female lead. I mean I’d love to slap her too, but for all the wrong reasons. This drama loves to make her seem so WEAK and sad, and just plain pathetic. She gets bullied by literally everyone, and somehow they keep saying that she’s nice 善良 and strong 堅強 for taking everyone’s shit. No it’s not nice nor strong. It’s just pathetic. C’mon. Fend for yourself (this becomes more infuriating later on, trust me).

She gets in trouble numerous times, and gets beaten many times as well. This last time she’s punished by having to sit outside in the cold for long periods of time.

Like this.

AND OBVIOUSLY since she’s so weak and fragile and needs protecting, she ends up fainting. This not the end. Oh believe me, this girl is so ‘weak’ and fragile that she ends up fainting a lot later on. Which is very, very annoying.

Well this presents a great opportunity for Ling Lang and Rong Ruo to leave together on a horse and elope because she can pretend that she’s too sick/dead to work, etc., BUT…

The Emperor coincidentally finds her (about to be lifted out) and tries to save her.

He holds her so uncomfortably close (remember, she hasn’t reciprocated his love yet) and tells her that he’ll never leave her.

Again it’s only OK, because it’s Hawick.

Rong Ruo, seeing that the Emperor has CARRIED Ling Lang in his personal quarters, decides to go and tell him that “Hey we’ve been in love all along, can you please let us be together?”

The Emperor, taking this rejection incredibly well, decides to pull out his sword and threatens to kill Rong Ruo.

Ling Lang pops out of no where, because you know, the royal palace is the size of a 1000 square feet home, and angers him even more by saying “Please don’t kill him, kill me instead”.

The Emperor doesn’t kill them, because one’s his best friend, the second one is “the love of his life” which is infuriating because they literally met 6 months ago and she has not even reciprocated any feelings. Kang Xi decides to promote them that they are always around him and always together.

When Kang Xi goes to Consort Hui’s to wish her a happy birthday, he brings the two of them along. I love Consort Hui too, and I think she’s a voice of reason in this drama, but this scene was so unnecessary to add to the drama to make her seem like a bad/jealous person.

Pretty much they started to play a game where you ask three questions, and if you can’t answer it, you have to drink.

She asks Kang Xi when she came into the palace, what’s her favourite flower, and what year she was born. Kang Xi doesn’t know, and decides to ask his three questions to Ling Lang on how long she’s in been in love with Rong Ruo etc. Understandably Consort Hui is pissed and hates Ling Lang even more.

Rong Ruo tries to take Ling Lang out of the palace by force by kidnapping her essentially. Ling Lang threatens to commit suicide unless Rong Ruo tells her the truth.

Now I don’t understand WHY he told her this lie, but he told her that he was the cause of her parents’ death, and her entire family. And that all along, he’s been so nice to her because he’s been trying to make up for it. I mean yeah, I guess that’s partially true because his family did kill her family but only under the Emperor’s orders. If he had told her that it was under the Emperor’s orders at least the whole drama would be over by now, and there wouldn’t be that last conflict, and that she wouldn’t get close to HIM nor the Emperor, but you know, drama.

And I LOVE how they are always saying how kind she is when she decides to ATTEMPT TO MURDER RONG RUO after finding out this fact. After all those years of supposedly being in love with him, she decides to tries to rashly end his life? What a woman.

AND YOU, YOU, RONG RUO. 你到底是不是男人？！ She tries to kill you and he ends up looking at her broken necklace sadly, still in love.

So obviously when the Emperor decides to take his rejection and turn it into a blessing and try to arrange a marriage between Rong Ruo and Ling Lang she says “I’d rather die than get married to him”. Like c’mon girl. Seriously. Have you not seen how nice he’s been to you all along???

Understandably, the Emperor goes to find her afterwards and pretty much says: “WTF do you want seriously”.

And to make our female lead even more unlikeable… when Chang Xing is about to gift Yun Chu a head piece, Ling Lang takes the head piece and breaks it, knowing very well that IT BELONGED TO CHANG XING’S DEAD SISTER.

Like c’mon, even if it’s someone you hated, you never mess with the remnants of the dead right? Chang Xing sadly picks it up and bears deep deep hatred for Ling Lang (like me).

And what kind of material is that head piece?!! It looks like metal, but surely metal cannot break that easily right??

Meanwhile, this is when Chang Xing tries to get close to the Empress Dowager…

Consort Hui tells Consort Duan Ping about the existence of Ling Lang. Shocked, Consort Duan Ping attempts to teach this ‘homewrecker’ a lesson. I love how they always refer to Ling Lang as a homewrecker 狐狸精 but c’mon… y’all are just consorts, aka a glamorized mistress. How much better are you?!

Consort Duan Ping’s attempt backfires, as she gets Ling Lang to hold a hot hot bowl of soup to be delivered to the Emperor (thus, burning Ling Lang’s hands). Emperor, seeing this, gets mad, and sentences Consort Duan Ping to do the same for the Empress Dowager and the Empress Great-Dowager (aka royal grandma).

Being pissed and all, her and Chang Xing team up to get rid of Ling Lang.

They poison Rong Ruo’s alcohol, and SOMEHOW this poison will make you hallucinate and all lovey dovey because he starts acting all weird and close with another servant (that he has mistakenly hallucinated as Ling Lang). This other servant I cannot remember the name lah, 沒關係 反正都是配角啦 she’s just a side character anyways.

The drama is up to Episode 30 at this point, and we have another week. I’m pretty excited to start the Imperial Doctress but I don’t want to start another one without catching up to this one (look at what happened to LEgend of Mi Yue. I don’t know what happens after episode 40).