HOW MANY MORE DO WE HAVE LEFT?

*DEEP BREATH* I am never recapping/summarizing a long drama ever again. THERE ARE SO MANY EPISODES holy shit. 80 episodes… It’s almost as long as Empress of China but there is no OTP to keep me interested… I’ve learned my lesson. No more long historical dramas for me.

*WARNING, PROFANITY HEAVY*

Our drama starts with Meng Ying being pissed because she’s in love with Su Qin (seriously? She barely knows him) and she’s mad that Mi Yue didn’t recommend him to the Emperor.

(THE FOLLOWING SCREEN CAPS ARE TAKEN FROM YOUTUBE. IT’S JUST LIKE 5 PICS, BEAR WITH ME).

She’s so in love with him, that she goes to chase after him when he leaves in sadness because he can’t afford to stay in the country Qin anymore, especially when his ideas/concepts aren’t recognized and he’s not being utilized in the royal courts.

They have this very mushy weird lovey scene but… they barely know each other. For all we know, they have barely interacted. It’s so weird to see them so caught up with each other when they haven’t really built a background… but, drama.

Thanks to the Empress, Meng Ying is convinced that it’s Mi Yue’s fault.

Ying Ji (Mi Yue’s son) now looks like this with two stupid buns on his head. I don’t get it. All of the other princes have one bun. Why does he get two? He doesn’t grow out of it either, he has it until he’s waaay too old to have two buns too be cute.

Meanwhile, the Empress’ son, Ying Dang grows up to be a fat little shit (ok I hate this spoiled brat) and we see that when he actually throws a puppy to a ground and kills the puppy of Ying Tong (Consort Fan’s son).

Mi Yue and the Emperor have the most adorable relationship (even though it’s kinda sickening at times when they’re flirting in their weird feudal ways). Since all 6 countries are planning to attack the country Qin, they go to Yi Qu Wang’s area (called Yi Qu, duh) to convince Yi Qu Wang to not join them, and to follow the country Qin ways.

Golden rule of dramas number 3423748, whatever the female lead achieves to do, she will be able to do it because she is infallible and perfect. Anyways, thanks to Mi Yue, she manages to convince Yi Qu Wang to follow the country Qin and not be swayed to rebel.

Mi Yue also met her ‘brother’ that she met (remember wolf boy back in the first recap?). He’s very suitably named Bai Qi (White Ascend) because it sounds like Bai Chi, meaning stupid in Chinese.

The Emperor is bitten by a poisonous bug but refuses to take rest because he sees opportunity in the war to defeat the rest of the six countries.

Goodbye my handsome Yi Qu Wang. ❤

Anyways, back to the palace:

The Empress’ eyebrows are slowly angling upwards because according to Golden Rule of Drama number 2349273, the more evil the character, the higher the end of their eyebrows are, on their face.

Ying Dang has grown again, but unfortunately still a fat little shit.

He uses his fat/size to bully his younger brothers but Ying Hua comes along and pushes him to the ground to stand up for his other brothers.

He’s smiling like he won 50 dollars. I would be smiling like that too if I got to push that little shit to the ground.

The Empress wants to show off Ying Dang’s leadership skills through him leading a war game. To start off the game, he’s supposed to roll a wooden ball down a hill, and whichever side it lands on gets to go first.

The wooden ball rolls into a hole. Because Ying Dang is a little shit, he pretty much abuses everyone and struggles to get the ball out.

Because Ying Ji is so young and wise and adorable, he manages to figure out how to get the wooden ball out, which is pour water into the hole so the ball will float out. As a result, the Empress is pissed because of her own son’s adequacy and how smart Mi Yue’s son is.

Those eyebrows are slowly angling higher and higher. Shit’s gonna go down.

The Empress is further angered by how Ying Ji manages to destroy the little sh-sorry, I mean Ying Dang, a a debate. Afraid that Ying Ji will replace Ying Dang as the Crown Prince, she gets sneaky.

BTW this is the only cute Ying Ji in the whole drama. Only he can pull off the two buns. How he grew up to be so uncute is beyond me. You will see what I mean in a few pics.

So the Empress pretends to harvest honey to cure her headaches, but really it’s a trap so she can set some killer bees on Ying Ji. Ying Tong sees the set up of the killer bees (because Golden Rule 234807 of dramas dictates that if you do any shady shit, someone will always witness it).

So during their outing, the Empress intentionally walks through a path with a trap with killer bees… Makes Ying Dang stay behind.

She pretends to trip and sprain her ankle and tells Ying Ji, Mi Yue, and the servant to keep walking.

WELL fortunately, Ying Dang gets stung instead because he manages to escape from his living quarters because he is a disobedient little shit and the servant gets stung instead of Ying Ji, from protecting him.

Mi Yue figures it out, and realizes that the Empress is behind this… which leads me to this stupid point:

Because our Mi Yue is so smart and intelligent, she manages to figure out a cure for the killer bees (she’s even smarter than the medic) BUT SHE DECIDES TO SAVE THE LITTLE SHIT TOO.

Like… Is she even real? How can someone be so selfless???? I would not do it. This is perhaps why I will never have drama-like encounters/experiences happen to me.

Instead of outing the Empress, Mi Yue decides to let it go. C’MON SHE TRIED TO KILL YOUR SON! SHE ALMOST CAUSED YOUR MISCARRIAGE. Mi Yue reminds me of a girl always forgiving her cheating boyfriend. It’s absolutely infuriating. I would get even and get justice.

What she decides to do instead of get even is cry over their lost relationship and her disappointment. C’MON. IF YOU WERE JUST MORE CUT THROAT RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULD PREVENT A LOT MORE DRAMA IN THE FUTURE.

OK UM In between here somewhere, somehow a lot of years has passed. I probably missed a *10 years later* or something but suddenly everyone looks super old and gray hairs and stuff. Forgive me.

The significantly aged Emperor walks through his garden and sees…

HE LAN MING YUE?!?!!!?!!!!!

FROM EMPRESS OF CHINA?!

Anyways, it’s said to be Consort Wei’s niece, and she’s supposed to be incredibly gorgeous. I think she looks a lot prettier in Empress of China (everybody did) but in this drama, her features seem to be very round… Like round face, round nose, which is not necessarily the prettiest I think. But her villainous role in Empress of China automatically makes me hate her already.

Like… Very round right? Maybe it’s because she’s wearing a lot less make-up?

And by now, Consort Wei looks a lot older… so you know a lot of time has passed by.

You also know because the little shit has grown up.

… And he’s still a fat and possibly the worst human alive.

He shows off his moves to his proud mom and dad.

After what seems to be at least 5 years (I mean look at how old everyone’s gotten) Mi Yue suggests that Qin Wang (the Emperor) give send her to Ba Shu with Ying Ji. The Emperor is pissed because he believes that it’s wasted talent with Ying Ji because he’s not being considered for the crown prince, and he becomes offended that MI Yue wants to leave him.

Consort Wei’s niece, called Wei Yi, tries to seduce the Emperor to no avail.

The Emperor gets convinced into giving each prince their own place of land to govern. The catch about this is that they will not become the Crown Prince because they are already out of the royal palace.

Consort Wei is pissed that Ying Hua doesn’t get to be Crown Prince. Still in the running for Crown Prince is Ying Dang and Ying Ji.

Meanwhile, the Empress looks for a wife for Ying Dang. If you wanted to make an unlikeable character, you producers really succeeded. Ying Dang is the most unlikeable character in the whole world.

One day he hears beautiful singing, so as a pervert (true to his name Ying Dang 淫蕩) he peaks over to see who it is.

Wei Yi is very pretty in this scene. She understands that the possible Crown Prince interested in her, and she decides to take advantage.

The Empress is very pissed that Ying Dang is interested in a woman from the country Wei instead of the country Chu.

So when Ying Dang begs to see Wei Yi with Consort Wei, she gets him to hide when the Empress comes in. When the Empress proves to be the biggest obstacle between Ying Dang and Wei Yi, Ying Dang gets extremely mad at her.

Consort Wei begs the Empress to allow them to be together. This is because if Wei Yi becomes the second Empress in line, it will help Consort Wei’s son, Ying Hua.

Wei Yi leaves to go back to the country Chu, and this forces Ying Dang to ask for her hand in marriage from the Emperor.

This scene is so embarrassing for this actress because her circle lens contact totally moves out of place and it’s so awkward/ugly because you know.. I mean it’s a feudal drama. Circle lenses didn’t exist.

Seeing that Ying Dang was getting married, this pushes the Emperor to name him the Crown Prince (I didn’t really understand the whole reasoning, but I guess it was saying about how he was all grown up or something).

Anyways this disgusting human being gets the position of Crown Prince.

He, and Wei Yi also get married.

Youknow what I mean when I say that her face is rounder than Empress of China right??? She looks so different I almost didn’t recognize her.

*Blurred screen indicates that they will probably have sex*

Anyways, good times don’t last for long. Because Ying Dang is possibly the worst human in the world, he ends up bullying Ying Tong and kicking his face and stomach in.

This fat jerk tells him that he’s going to be Emperor and has married his crush. Ying Tong, understandably crushed and having no where to turn because no one’s ever put this guy in his place… decides to commit suicide.

Consort Fan’s incredibly upset (understandably) and decides to tell the Emperor the truth about what Ying Tong had seen many years ago. The Empress planned the whole killer bee incident.

The Empress was imprisoned and all associated servants were imprisoned and questioned as well.

The Emperor reveals that he has the intention of removing the Empress’s title and getting rid of the crown prince as well. This would be great and would take out the antagonist force in the whole drama and we’d have a pretty great ending.

Unfortunately at this point we’re only 3/4 of the drama done.

 

The Emperor moves Ying Ji to his personal quarters with the intention of training him into becoming crown prince (the new Ying Ji is very uncute, right?).

The fat blob of a jerk decides to come in and challenge Ying Ji to a fight, and ends up hurting him and the servant. Luckily the Emperor comes by to stop this whole commotion, but the Emperor gets so mad that he spits fresh blood.

The Emperor is dying, and one of the counsel members on the Empress’ team decides to release her from her imprisonment so she can regain her power while the Emperor is out.

Before he dies he sees Mi Yue one last time and it’s the saddest scene ever. The producers, being the bastards that they are, obviously replay a lot of sweet moments to make you cry.

^ Scenes like this when they just sit and chat like a real married couple. 

The pain in the Empress is so real. This actress is so good at acting. She has a smirk while she has tears because she thinks its so humorous/painful that even in his last moments, her husband sees a consort, and not his wife.

Welp. Great. Now the Emperor’s died, there’s no one to get rid of the Empress and the useless crown prince.

The Empress learns of a second will that the Emperor wrote, and she goes full evil (as shown through her eyebrows).

She kills the headmaster of servants in order to get it.

She accuses Mi Yue of treason and imprisons her. She can’t kill Mi Yue because of the Emperor’s last words (so it’ll look bad on her and Ying Dang) and she doesn’t feel comfortable sending Mi Yue to Ba Shu, its own region because she could easily make her own little country.

The Empress decides to send Mi Yue and her son to the country Yan as prisoners/hostages because 1) she hates Mi Yue, and 2) the purpose of having hostages there is to ensure a good relationship to ensure that the country Qin will not attack.

^Look at this goof.

The Empress also confronts the Ying Fu Ren for the second will of the late Qin Wang. She almost searches the place, until some counsel members shop up to stop her.

Mi Yue gets sent on a rocky ride to the country Yan. The leader of the pack originally treats her like crap until…

Wei Ran shows up to defend her. By this time, he has a bit of facial hair and looks very attractive. That’s not the end of the series of attractive men.

Yi Qu Wang *coincidentally* picks on Mi Yue’s carriage to rob.

He was about to rob her, except that he realizes that Mi Yue was inside. He’s still very handsome and infatuated with Mi Yue. Mi Yue couldn’t just abandon her mission to become a hostage because it was an order by the Emperor, and so they part, and Yi Qu Wang leaves her with some jewels and money for the road.

HERE WE ARE, Up to 55. 25 more episodes to go.

I’m resisting to gangsterify everything in the next recap.